4 Ways You Know that Special One is a Keeper

“How did you know Sergio was the one?” It’s a question I get a lot from people who admire my relationship with my husband.

Now, before I delve into my answer, I have to preface by saying that I don’t believe there is only one person out there for anyone. However, I do believe in compatibility and that we have options for whom we choose to spend the rest of our life with. If we are looking for “Mr./Ms. Perfect” reality is they doesn’t exist. Everyone has flaws and baggage, and the moment we say “yes” to a relationship, we say “yes” to everything that comes along with them. But while “Mr./Ms.Perfect” may not exist, “Mr./Ms. Right” sure does! This is the person that gets the most checkmarks on your list. They may not have everything you want, but they sure are everything you need. So how do you know they're a keeper? If you can answer "yes" to these 4 questions, you’re on the right track!

  1. They share your values. This is probably the most important question to answer first. It requires you to know who you are and what you stand for. The hardest thing to do is to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t see eye to eye with you. When you constantly want to go left and your partner constantly wants to go right, chances are it won’t work out unless someone compromises their values. Values shape us, mold us, and keep us grounded. I tell anyone who is in a relationship that there are many things you can compromise, but values shouldn’t be one of them. If your values don’t line up, don’t waste your time. The person may look real good on the outside, but it’s not worth the pain and heartache it will cost you later on the inside.

  2. They have a vision for their life, and you fit into it! It feels amazing when you come across someone who knows what they want in life and are going after it. It’s even more amazing when you realize that you “fit” their plan. My husband and I met doing what we both love, serving and leading people. So both of our missions were aligned. Sometimes the best way to meet someone who is compatible with you is to be active in areas you truly enjoy. When the right person comes along and is attracted to what you do, chances are you can build a life together that will move in the same direction.

  3. They push you towards your goals. To answer yes to this question requires you to have a vision for your life. You can’t expect to plan a future with someone when you have no idea what direction you want to move in. If you aren’t 100% sure, sometimes your partner can help you establish a clearer sense of direction. If you already know what your goals are, then a partner who pushes you towards them is a keeper! They will motivate you when you feel like giving up and always remind you of your “why.” They understand that in you realizing your fullest potential, you become a better woman for yourself and for others, including them!

  4. They make you better. To top it off, every time your partner is around, people notice that you are a different person - in a good way! There’s a level of healthy competition in your relationship in which you’re both trying to outdo the other in making sure you’re being the best version of yourselves. Something about the relationship brings out the best side of you. The opposite effect would be your friends constantly telling you how “different” you are with “Mr./Ms. X” and how you’ve changed for the worst. And if they’re right, then it’s probably time to call it quits.

Sergio and I have been together for 10 years now, going on 6 as a married couple. While we both had other options prior to embarking on our relationship journey, we both answered “yes” to all four of the questions above and haven’t looked back since then. To say that our relationship is perfect is far from true. We are human, we get on each other’s nerves, we have heated discussions, and there are days we don’t understand each other. But we also have more days filled with laughs, hugs and kisses, discussions about our future, and genuine love for each other. I plan on staying on this love train of ours for as long as I can :)