The Next Step: "The Fusion Shoe"

Ringtone sounds. I rush to get my phone. It’s a long distance call. “Hello?!"

“Hi, sweetheart! How are you?” It’s Sergio on the other line.

“Hey, babe! I’m good, just getting ready to run some errands. How is the event going in El Salvador?”

“It’s been amazing! The people here are treating me well.”

“I’m glad to hear that!”

“Yea...So, I got your email...were you implying anything I should know about?” he asked.

I could feel my face getting warm with embarrassment. “No! I just wanted to let you know that I truly appreciate your friendship, and --”

He interrupts, “Let’s be real hear. You like me…”

Pause. I stay silent on the line.

“And I like you,” he adds. “So, why don’t we make this official?”

I’m stumbling over words trying to figure out what to say next.

“Look,” he begins. “I’m not looking for a girlfriend. I’ve had my share of those in the past. I’m ready to start my life with someone. I’m looking for wifey, and I want that to be you. Are you ready for that?”

Before I know it, I answer with an enthusiastic, “Yes! Yes, I am ready for that.”

You have one minute remaining, says the recording on the phone.

“I miss you, and I’ll call you later after the event, OK?” he says.

“OK, I hope everything goes well!”

It was the morning of the 4th of July and I had already seen fireworks...

I’ve had conversations with many couples over the years, and one thing many of them have in common is that they feel they need to “have it all together” before marriage. Careers have to be booming, someone has to be a homeowner, blah blah blah, the list goes on. But, let’s be honest! When you get down to the root of why they aren’t hitched, the real issue is the fear of commitment. Can I commit to loving this person for the rest of my life? Can I commit to giving them my all through thick or thin? Can I commit to lay down my pride daily to make sure my partner is happy? Can I commit to being accountable to someone else for the rest of my life? Can I commit to trusting this person with my heart?

These are tough questions, and some people make the mistake of going into marriage without answering “yes” to them. The misconception many people hold is that marriage is a 50/50 split. You put in your half of the work and your partner puts in the other. However, relationships fail when people only bring 50% to the table. If this is going to work, it’s all or nothing, baby! You’ve got to give your 100%. And that thought can be scary for many people.

But marriage was meant to be beautiful and exciting! This is a time when you get to sit down with your best friend and say, “Hey, let’s do life together!” 

If you’re waiting to “have it all together” first, and aren’t willing to bring your 100% to the table, then you’re just looking for someone to fit into the life you’ve already built for yourself. And, that’s just not fair. Marriage requires flexibility. Although you are compatible (see last week’s post), there needs to be flexibility to accommodate what you each want to accomplish in life, and an understanding to cheer each other on during the process. That's how you create a life you can both be proud of! This is a partnership, and as such, the business (your marriage) should be built together!

Each post is named after a fictitious pair of shoes. This shoe was named "Fusion" meaning "a combination of two elements."